Anniversary

When I awoke this morning I had a vivid memory of exactly one year ago as the alarm sounded in the cramped hotel room on the campus of Loma Linda University Hospital prodding me to get dressed and present myself to the pre-op department in preparation for Dr. Paul Kim to remove a good portion of my tongue, 30 or so lymph nodes from my neck and shoulder and rebuild the organ that is so vital for communication and nutrition with a hunk of my own flesh taken from beneath my chin.  Tongue Cancer they said; why or how we'll never know.  I'd never heard of the disease before I got it.   A hemiglossectomy and radical neck dissection with a submental island flap is the technical term for the surgery, my memorization of which always brings a smile to the surgeon's face.

I had to laugh over this most recent New Year's holiday observing all the conversation and journalistic proliferation for Resolutions being put forth.   What could possibly compare to 2011 for me in the way of accomplishments?  I lost 25 pounds;  gave up a 40 year love affair with alcohol; whipped a devastating disease; maintained my handicap index at 10.6.   All worthy goals but if the truth be told none the result of a Resolution (OK, maybe the golf index was).  More than likely, it was my attempt to fight back against an opponent I couldn't see, could not communicate with and frankly, didn't understand.

A good friend of mine that is some years my senior and a person I have considered a mentor of sorts for the past 20 odd years recently said to me:  "You know, Craig, the older I get the more I realize I don't know a lot about anything anymore.  I just know a little about a lot of things."  And of course, it made me stop and think; made me realize that everything in our world moves so fast that the more we try to control events the less likely we are to be successful.

So back to my accomplishments in 2011 and my Resolutions:  Did I consciously resolve to achieve any of those results?  I don't think I did but more than anything I reacted to an incredible display of love and support from those around me:  my wife with her unending love and caring; my 3 incredible daughters; my parents and siblings; in-laws and friends; business acquaintances and medical care providers.  I only hope I can repay the debt for the motivation all of those important people in my life provided to do what was apparently necessary to move beyond this mind-numbing chapter.

Thank you all.